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- Book written by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman
- Started 3rd May, 2026 - Finished
1 What's truly impressive
The Conspicuously Wealthy earn, and ultimately get what they want out of spending: their reputation. But what an empty one! Spend, spend, spend? Given the funds, who wouldn't be able to do that?
Marcus Aurelius sold off some of the imperial furnishings to pay down war debts. More recently, Jose Mujica, The former President of Uruguay, stood out for giving 90% of his presidential salary to charity and driving a 25 year old car. Who can do stuff like that? Not everyone. So who's more impressive?
2 Righteousness is beautiful
Our standards are what's attractive are incredibly un-Stoic in that we prize and extol things people have almost no control over- high cheekbones, complexion, height, piercing eyes.
Is it really beautiful to win the genetic lottery? Or should beauty be contingent on the choices, actions, and attributes we develop? An even keel, a sense of justice, a commitment to duty. These are beautiful traits- and they go much deeper than appearance.
3 Kindness is always the right response
Pg.146 The expected reaction to hatred is more hatred. When someone says something pointed or mean today, they expect you to respond in kind – not with kindness. When that doesn't happen, they are embarrassed. It's a shock to their system – it makes them and you better.
Most rudeness, meanness, and cruelty are a mask for deep – seated weakness. Kindness in these situations is only possible for people of great strength. You have that strength. Use it.
4 Our well-being lies in our actions
Pg.148 That's the problem with letting your happiness be determined by things you can't control. It's an insane risk.
If an actor focuses on the public reception to a project – by the critics like it or whether it's a hit, they will be constantly disappointed and hurt.but if they love their performance – and put everything they have into making. It the best that they are capable of – they will always find satisfaction in their job. Like them, we should take pressure from our action – and taking the right actions – rather than results that come from them.
Our Ambition should not be to win, then, But to play with our full effort. Our intention is not to be thanked or recognised, but to help and to do what we think is right.
5 Count your blessings
Pg.149 So today, stop trying to get what other people have. Fight your urge to gather and hoard. That's not the right way to live and act.
6 The chain method
Pg.150 Keep a calendar, yor get a chain going- and then your job is to simply not break the chain. Success becomes a matter of momentum.
Whereas Seinfeld used the chain method to build a positive habit, Epictetus was sayin that it can also be used to eliminate a negative one. It's not all htat different than taking sobriety "one day at a time". Start with one day doing whatever it is, be it managing your temper or wandering eyes or procrastination.
7 How you do anything is how you do everything
Pg.151 We think: "This is just a job; it isn't who I am. It doesn't matter." But it does matter. Who knows- it might be the last thing you ever do.
There is an old saying: "How you do anything is how you do everything." It's true. How you handle this minute is how you'll handle every minute.
8 Learn, Practice, Train
Pg.152 That's why the philosophers warn us not to be satisfied with mere learning, but to add practice and then training. For as the time passes we forget what we learned and end up doing the opposite, and hold opinions the opposite of what we should. - Epictetus, Discourses, 2.9.13-14
9 Quality over quantity
Pg.153 What's the Point of having countless books and libraries, whose titles could hardly be read through in a lifetime. The learner is not taught, but burdened by the sheer volume, and it's better to plan the seeds of a few authors than to be scattered about by many. - Seneca, On Tranquility of mind
There is no prize for having read the most books before you die.
What if, when it came your reading and learning, you prioritised quality over quantity? What if you read the few Great books deeply instead of briefly skimming all the new books? Your shelves might be emptier, but your brain and your life would be fuller.
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